Monday, December 19, 2011
wen tings r already ok btwn us,
anotha sumthin fails..
i failed my law ppr yet again.
n i hav a last shot at it to pass in 6mths else my entire dip is wasted.
i must pass tis regardless wadeva.
gotta push myself triple hard.
sigh.
right now im so demoralised. e only ting i can do now is look fwd to my winter trip nex mth.
u can do tis qie.
6mths is more than nuff fer u to wake up n do ur utmost best. hwaiting!
Y7:57 PM
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
im home today wit a bad case of menst cramp.
& it is also today tt i really miss u most.
i keep checkin my phone in case i get a text frm u,
a call frm u sayin tt u wanna meet me or sumthin.
jus hearing ur voice wudve made me feel betta.
but i doubt it'll happen.
ive been cryin every nite now b4 i sleep.
n watchin Personal Taste made me realise alot of tings about myself.
im not a weak person.
i strived hard fer e tings i want n i can b quite tough at times.
but y is it i can b tough on my frens but i cant quite b tough on my decision to leave u,
i myself cant quite grasp it.
i am sucha soft hearted person wen it comes to love.
my late dad loved me in a weird way.
he was harsh n everythin else at me n i used to hate him alot.
bt tt was his way of showing me love anyway.
i keep replaying in my head wad it wud b like to hav sum1 who showers me wit all e love in e world, who'd treat me 1001 times betta den my ex's or e guys i dated or my late dad or even Aizat, bt even den, i tink i'd b uneasy.
bcuz der is no perfect guy in tis world.
im nt perfect either.
we ALL hav flaws.
so fer sum1 to say tt i deserve better,
what is definition of better?
Y4:49 PM
Monday, December 05, 2011
perhaps, i am so used to seeing/making tings goin my way.
tts y i failed to realise tt sum tings jus don't.
idk y i keep defending u eventho its clear cut u hurt me deep.
idk y i cant look past e fact tt u did contact other girls behind my back.
wil i alwaes be this paranoid?
wil i ever trust again?
Y11:08 PM
Saturday, December 03, 2011
im here after my last posting on 11 Jan tis yr.
i have alot to say tt twitter doesn allow me to.
n while typing tis, tears are streaming down my face non stop.
hav u ever dated a guy, fell in love wit him n eventually realised tt he's e one fer u?
u dun noe hw or why but u jus, knew.
n nt like i can make e whole world understand hw i feel but i felt tt fer, you.
until we fought alot, said nasty tings to each other, made mistakes, did tings n escalated to e point i can no longer see a future togetha. its now nothin but a blur.
maybe its too early to decide wad i shud/shud nt do,
aftr wad happened last nite n e text msg u sent me tis morn,
i guess its gon take me a long time to get my tots sorted out.
i dun even noe who i am myself anymore.
n its scary cuz i used to noe wad i want n i will fight for e wrong done n never stop til achieving my goals.
Thaqifah, where art thou?
Y4:32 PM
Monday, January 10, 2011
i jus cannot hold back my disappointment.
yes, its hurtin me tis much. time & again.
Y10:00 PM
